If You’re Trying, You’ve Got an eF-ing Problem
I swear I don’t mean to be rude,
but let’s start with some rhetorical questions that might insult your intelligence:
- Is the path toward awakening easy?
- Do you struggle with meditation, presence, or spiritual teachings?
- Do you think of your practice as “working” toward enlightenment?
For the Buddhists in the room: are you applying right effort?
(Just kidding-of course the sixth step of the Noble Eightfold Path is better translated as diligence, not effort.)
But seriously… are you trying?
Because effort is the most noble form of suffering.
It’s the kind of suffering we’ve been taught to admire.
Why We Worship Effort
Effort is the “good” suffering.
Why?
Because we believe it leads to something-and we are always chasing more of something.
From an early age, we’re told that effort is good.
Parents, teachers, coaches, and religious leaders-all of them are proud Try-ers who want us to try, too.
Effort becomes so normalized that anything too easy makes us uneasy.
“If it seems too good to be true…”
So we measure our effort.
We question our output.
We’re told: “You can always try harder.”
Even when we’ve tried our best, someone will suggest we still didn’t try hard enough.
There’s no finish line. No enough.
And despite effort often feeling awful, we convince ourselves it’s for our own good.
Effort as a Shield
Some even claim effort is more important than results.
(Conveniently, this logic rarely applies when the system fails them.)
Effort becomes a safety net for the ego.
When things don’t go our way, we can say: “Well… at least I tried.”
It becomes a built-in excuse to avoid the discomfort of reality.
We don’t have to accept what is-we just decide to keep trying to change it.
Effort becomes the bandage we put on every disappointment.
Effort Is Always About Desire
We’re taught to dream big, to reach for the stars.
And if we haven’t achieved our dreams yet, we’re told: keep trying.
Try harder.
Push more.
Desire more.
But here’s the trick: effort is never valued for its own sake.
It’s always measured by the outcome it’s meant to achieve.
Effort is just a means to serve desire.
And desire?
That’s a whole other mess.
We’ll come back to that D-word later.
First, let’s finish eF-ing up effort.
The Backward Logic of Effort
Here’s what really messes with me:
We treat a lack of effort as the reason for all unrealized desires-
but in truth, a lack of effort may be the only path to freedom from suffering.
What if we’ve had it backwards this whole time?
Let’s run a little experiment:
Don’t try.
Not for a month. Not even a week. Just for a few hours.
Give up any idea of effort. Just watch what happens.
You Can’t Not Try? Says Who?
You might already be objecting:
“I have responsibilities!”
“A job, kids, deadlines!”
“I can’t just sit around doing nothing!”
And you’re right-
but don’t confuse effort with action.
Action happens.
It’s our default state.
Things will get done. Life will unfold-whether you try or not.
Effort enters the picture when we measure that action.
When we judge it.
When we label it as “hard” or “easy,” “worthwhile” or “wasteful.”
Effort Is a Measurement
Some tasks feel like a joy to one person and a burden to another.
Sometimes they feel like both-within minutes of each other.
Effort is not in the action.
Effort is in the interpretation.
We only call something effortful when our realized outcome doesn’t match our desired one.
That’s measurement.
That’s mind process.
The Dirty Duo: Comparison and Dissatisfaction
Enter the C and D words:
Comparison and Dissatisfaction.
They’re a nasty pair.
They work together like a Mother eF’er.
(That’s Mother & Father. What did you think I meant?)
Where there’s comparison, there’s dissatisfaction.
And where there’s dissatisfaction, you can bet comparison is lurking nearby.
What I have vs. what I want.
What happened vs. what should’ve happened.
What I’m doing vs. what I should be doing.
Mind thrives on these measurements.
And effort is what we throw at the gap between where we are and where we think we should be.
Born to Try
We desire because we compare.
We try because we desire.
We try harder because we were raised to measure.
We are Try-ers.
It’s in our mental operating system.
But is it possible not to be a Try-er?
You’re probably hoping the answer is yes.
Because Try-ers want to believe that effort is a problem effort can solve.
The Big C Word: Can’t
Let’s talk about Can’t.
We hate this word.
It offends our striving nature.
“Can’t doesn’t exist!” we shout.
“You just have to want it bad enough!”
But the truth is… there are things you just can’t do.
And one of them?
You can’t achieve enlightenment.
Not through effort.
Not through trying.
Fact – Enlightenment Can’t Be ‘Achieved’
Blasphemy?
Maybe.
But think about it:
The thinking mind cannot perceive its own limitation.
It is incapable of seeing past itself.
The mind is measurement.
It can’t measure its own collapse.
So it throws effort at every obstacle-
even though effort is just another obstacle in disguise.
“This isn’t working. I need to try harder.”
Sound familiar?
That’s the loop we live in.
What If You Just Stopped?
Do you see how effort is f-ing up your experience of existing?
You’re here to live-maybe even enjoy it.
And yet most of us spend our time trying to fix what isn’t broken.
Ever wonder if your soul just wishes you’d give the eF up and enjoy being alive?
Getting the eF Out
Here’s how to start:
Real-ize your existence.
Focus on what is real.
Let go of fabricated ideas built from measurement.
Realization isn’t something you work toward.
It’s not a technique.
It’s not effort.
It’s truth.
Once it clicks, it can’t unclick.
You’re free to move forward with the eF-ing game.
You can still “do the work,” but now it’s not about striving.
It’s about seeing what’s always been there.
Final Thought (No Effort Required)
If this was confusing, that’s okay.
Trying not to try is confusing-until it isn’t.
Truth is hiding in plain sight.
There’s nothing you need to do about your mind process…
other than to see that it’s full of crap.
So if I’ve offended you with all this talk of effort and eF-ing, I get it.
But what’s truly offensive is the exhausting belief that we always have something to fix, improve, or achieve.
Some of us are even trying to accept what is.
(That’s effort too.)
If everything were already perfect, the mind would have no job.
And that’s the real threat.
So Wake the F Up.
The problematic mind process is always trying to figure things out.
Stop trying to improve yourself.
Sit down. Go for a walk. Do nothing.
Or keep doing whatever you’re doing-but drop the effort.
Enlightenment isn’t a reward.
It’s not something to be earned.
It’s experienced right here, right now,
through the radical act of accepting things exactly as they are.
And if you disagree with me, that’s okay.
I’ll try not to give an eF.
